Chapter 2

 

Cogs? What the heck is a Cog? Tyler wondered. And what did he mean, sadness? The metallic creatures that called themselves Cogs stepped closer to them.

“Get away! Let us go!” the chubby green dog with them shrieked. Tyler winced at loud sound.

“Resistance is futile! Surrender now or face sadness!” the cheese-headed Cog said in a metallic voice. Tyler scanned around him, but couldn’t see a way out. All the surrounding Cogs closed in on them, sealing any possible escape routes. They were trapped!

“No, please! No!!” the chubby green dog cried as one of the Cogs reached for her. She ducked, and the Cog scowled.

“These Toons make good candidates for selling to the Sellbot Vice President, look at them, they’re tiny and immobile, perfect for a caged environment,” a medium-sized cog with bright white teeth, large hands and a maroon suit said, also in a metallic voice.

“An excellent proposition! Has he set up headquarters yet?” the cheese-headed cog asked.

“Not yet, but he’s making great progress.”

“Um, hello? What the heck are you talking about? Can we go now?” Tyler snapped, irritated. How dare these creatures act like he wasn’t even there?! The audacity caused Tyler to snap out of his shocked state. No way would he be ignored by anyone, weird and scary metallic creature or not.

“Sure thing, little Toon. You can go. Pay the Sellbot V.P a visit, that is!” the cheese-head cog said, with an evil glare.

“The what?!” The cheese-headed cog grabbed Tyler by the waist and lifted him into the air.

“Hey, let go! Get your filthy paws off me! You’ll ruin my awesome clothes!” Tyler struggled in the Cog’s grasp, but it was no use, it held on tight. Tyler threw the package in his hands at the Cog’s head but it just harmlessly bounced off, landing on the street a few feet away.

“Gah! Dang it!” Tyler whined. Two other cogs, one with a blue suit and the head of a bird, and the other with the head of a shark and a green suit, grabbed Gustavo and the green dog, respectively.

“Let go! Ow, you’re hurting me!” the green dog cried.

“The rest of you, fan out! Take the streets! We’ll take these fine specimens to the Sellbot V.P to sell.” the cheese-headed Cog barked.

“But, the Director of Ambush Marketing said—” one of the Cogs started, another of those bird-headed ones.

“I know what he said! The other Cogs are completing the order! We can be much more efficient by breaking away from the main group,” the cheese-headed Cog growled. It raised Tyler off the ground. “See, it’s already working! Now, do it! That is an order!” The other Cogs immediately dispersed and starting walking down the street.

“No! Please!” the chubby green dog exclaimed as propellers appeared from the heads of the three Cogs holding them and they sprang into the air. Tyler struggled to break away from the Cog’s grasp again, but it was no use.

“Buddy, you’re going to pay a whole ton of money to replace this shirt. It’s not cheap, I can assure you that,” he growled, more annoyed than worried or scared. No one messes with his stuff!

“An interesting deal you propose. Perhaps we can talk with the Chief Financial Officer and the Number Crunchers and we can settle on a price?” the Cog said in a monotone. Tyler’s eyes widened in surprise. Not exactly the answer he expected.

“I have no idea what half of those words mean,” he said, utterly bewildered.

“Not to worry, Toon, you’ll soon get a lesson in Selling and Marketing.” The Cog flew towards the Toontown Central Playground. The wind blew through Tyler’s fur, making it puff up, and he shivered. The sky grew dark and cold as ominous black clouds covered the sun entirely as they reached the Playground.

“What in the world…?!” Tyler gasped as the Toontown Central Playground came into view. Right below them, there was massive chaos. Cogs were all over the playground, attacking Toons! There was a ton of them, a lot looking like the three that carried them now, though there was an overabundance of cheese-headed Cogs, Cogs with green suits wearing black masks on their faces, and ones wearing blue suits with white wigs. Tyler saw a few of them wearing maroon-colored suits and huge white-toothed smiles on their faces. The Cogs were throwing all kinds of different items at the Toons, most of them able to dodge them.

“Oh my goodness!! The Election is supposed to be down there right now! What happened?!” the chubby green dog exclaimed. Oh, snap! She’s right! Did the Cogs interrupt the Election?! Tyler thought, a wave of shock flowing through his body.

“Help! Somebody HELP!!!” the chubby green dog exclaimed as the Cogs carrying them flew right over the gazebo right in the middle of the playground. Whoosh! Something flew past Tyler’s ear and made a huge SPLAT noise as it hit the Cog behind him, the bird-faced one with the blue suit. The Cog’s head snapped back at the impact and it shook its head, stunned by the blow. What the?! Is that a Cream Pie?! Tyler wondered as the cheese-headed Cog turned around in mid-air and gaped in surprise.

“What! What was that!” Whoosh! SPLAT! Another Cream Pie came from somewhere below them and hit the bird-Cog right in the face again. This caused the Cog to short-circuit, apparently, going completely haywire with gears popping out from the sides of its body.

“Mayday! Mayday! Collision course imminent!” the bird-faced cog sputtered slowly, its voice winding down with each syllable as it fell towards the ground below them, its flying momentum pushing it forward and landing right over the tunnel leading to Silly Street. It crashed into the wall, still holding onto Gustavo

“Gah! Help!” he cried as the Cog exploded, sending him flying past the tunnel and into Silly Street.

“Evasive maneuvers, we’re under attack!!” the cheese-head Cog barked at the shark-head. Before either of them could react, though, a Cream Pie hit the cheese Cog square in the face. The cheese-head made a beeline towards the tunnel to Silly Street, narrowly avoiding another Cream Pie. The shark-headed Cog behind him wasn’t so lucky, though, and got it right in the face. Another one quickly followed before it could react, and it started to explode in mid-air. The shark-headed Cog flung the chubby green dog away from it and exploded into a rain of gears and metal parts without even uttering a word.

“Aaahhhh!” the chubby green dog screamed as she flew through the air and out of sight, landing somewhere beyond the Toon Hall building.

“Loan Shark! Legal Eagle! Nooo!” the cheese-head exclaimed stopping in mid-air and whipping around so quickly, it made Tyler dizzy, its metallic voice sounding completely furious.

“Curse you, Toons! Curse you all to--!” Whoosh! SPLAT! Another Cream Pie splatted the Cog in the face. Interestingly, it didn’t start to explode like its comrades.

“Let me go, mate! You’ve lost, can’t you see?!” Tyler grumbled, trying to break free of the Cog’s grasp. The Cog had weakened its grip slightly due to the blow, and Tyler managed to slip right out of its arms.

“Gah, no! Get back here, you little--!” Whoosh! SPLAT! This time, the Cog did start blowing up in mid-air, and it exploded into a shower of gears and metal parts. Tyler fell through the air, and landed with a loud SPLAT inside of a wheelbarrow full of Cream Pies. The pies completely covered him in cream filling from head to toe, getting onto his awesome, expensive clothes.

“Ugh, no! My clothes, they’re ruined!” he muttered. He had already stopped caring about what just happened, more concerned about keeping his clothes intact and unruined. Too late for that. Stupid Cogs.

“Hey, I’d appreciate if you kept the pies intact, buddy. We seriously need them,” a tall male orange monkey said, running over Tyler and glaring at him. The monkey was wearing a lab coat and carried a clipboard that he tucked under his arm.

“Not like I chose to do this…” Tyler muttered. He jumped out of the wheelbarrow and shook himself, sending pie filling everywhere.

“Why not? Jumping into a wheelbarrow full of pies is always a nice way to spend your day,” the orange monkey said with a serious expression. He motioned with his keyboard at the remaining pies that somehow managed to survive.

“Take some pies. Help us beat back this menace threatening to take over our town!” He turned to an aqua-colored dog with an orange striped shirt and dark purple shorts. He was baking some pies in three little portable ovens and seemed to be placing them in the wheelbarrow as soon as they came out.

“Flippy, I need more pies, STAT!” he cried.

“Working on it!” the aqua dog replied. Tyler noticed some pies fly out of the wheelbarrow, shrunken, and head for the battlefield. Battlefield was putting it mildly, for chaos ensued everywhere Tyler looked; Cogs were attacking Toons left and right all over the playground, and metallic birds chased the Toons around. He grabbed the orange monkey, who was starting to run toward the Toontown Library, and pulled him back.

“Why should I grab pies? Shouldn’t we be worrying about those things rather than doing some stupid Gag War?” he asked, motioning to the Cogs. Not that Tyler cared; he just couldn’t help but correct what seemed illogical to him. A dark look came formed on the monkey’s face.

“Funny thing. Turns out, they’re weak to the pies,” the monkey told him.

“Pies? Their weakness are pies?” Tyler said incredulously as he watched Cogs blow up after a couple of blows from the cream pies. The orange monkey nodded solemnly.

“Oookay, well, I gotta run, it’s been fun and all that. Good luck!” Tyler said, having had enough craziness for one day. Tyler didn’t do craziness. He didn’t do much of anything himself, actually. He preferred to hire people to do it for him whenever possible. He had the money to do so, so why not, he figured.

“What? You can’t just leave, we need your help. Every bit counts—”

“Nope, sorry. No can do, mate. See ya!” Tyler sprang away, though he did grab a few pies from the wheelbarrow before doing so. Afternoon snack, he thought with a grin. As soon as the grabbed the pies, more rose from the wheelbarrow, shrunk, and entered his Gag Pouch on their own. Whoa. Neat. He made his way past Toon Bank and turned the corner.

“Ahh! Don’t hurt me!” shouted a tall red cat that was wearing a long blue shirt and brown shorts, standing right around the corner of the bank. He cringed as he shouted that.  “Oh phew, it’s only you.” he said when he saw it was Tyler. He raised an eyebrow at the red cat and laughed.

“Chillax, buddy. Those things are pushovers. Can you believe their weakness are pies? Gimme a break. Don’t be such a coward”

“Oh, be quiet, you! Those things are scary!” the red cat cried defensively. Tyler laughed.

“Whatever, mate. Whatever you say,” he walked away, leaving the red cat glaring after him. From one of the bushes next to the bank burst out a dark, shadowy figure.

“Gah!” Tyler cried. Then relaxed when he saw it was only the chubby green dog from before.

“Oh, hey. ‘Sup?”

“Where are you going?” she asked him, eyes narrowing.

“Oh, I don’t know. Probably home, relax for a bit,” Tyler replied nonchalantly. He started to step around her. She moved to block his path.

“Oh no you’re not! We’ve got to help these folks!”

“Oh no we don’t. I don’t gotta do a thing,” Tyler said, nose in the air.

“It’s the right thing to do!”

“Yeah, well, the smart thing to do is to walk away, go home and call it a day! So, that’s what I’m doing. See ya,” Tyler said. He walked away quickly. She ran after him and grabbed his arm

“Let. Go.” Tyler growled.

“What is wrong with you?! Can’t you see they’re struggling?!” she pulled him toward the Toons fighting off the invading Cogs, passing by the tall red cat with the blue shirt and orange shorts, who stared after them with a raised eyebrow. They turned the corner and the green dog pointed to the playground. Sure enough, a big bunch of Toons had been cornered, the cogs closing in as the Toons struggled to push them back with the pies. There were more Cogs now, most of them consisting of the same cheese-headed Cog that had captured him earlier. Tyler shrugged.

“Not my problem, to be honest. I never wanted to come to this stupid event, anyway.”

“You are such a selfish brat! The world revolves around you, does it?”

“Well, I could probably afford to pay it to. I am filthy rich, after all.”

“Unbelievable,” the chubby green dog said, completely speechless. “You—you’re totally a rotten, stupid brat!”

“Yeah, well, you’re obviously a no-good poorman. You couldn’t come close to my level in any way, certainly not with those clothes that only peasants would wear.” Tears welled up in the green dog’s eyes, and her hands balled into fists.

“Oh, like your clothes are any better?” she shot back, and Tyler looked down at his clothes. Yep. All covered in cream pie still.

“Stupid cogs,” he muttered and stomped away, heading toward the Toontown Library.

“Hey! We’re not done here!” the green dog ran after him and grabbed his arm. He pulled out of her grasp briskly and pushed her away with his other hand. The green dog fell to the ground on her butt with an oof

“Don’t touch me without permission,” he hissed at her. The dog stood up, a flare of fury in her eyes.

“How’s this for touching, stupid jerk?!” the dog spat at him and lunged, pushing Tyler backward. He tumbled, fell to the floor and his momentum made him roll.

“Why, you little--,” Tyler growled as he stood back up and grabbed her by the waist. He flung her through the bushes near Toontown Library and she fell out the other side, landing face first a few feet away from the tunnel leading to Silly Street. Angrily, Tyler burst in after her and prepared to pounce.

“HELP! TYLER! Somebody, please!” a voice cried. It sounded a lot Gustavo. Tyler smirked, and his anger deflated like a punctured balloon suddenly letting out all its air. If the Cogs got rid him, I wouldn’t have to see him anymore. Perfect. The green dog’s ears perked up at the shout and her eyes went wide. She looked at Tyler, eyes cold.

“Aren’t you going to help? That’s your friend, isn’t it?”

“He’s not my friend,” Tyler muttered and started to walk away. “I’m not going to help—” he stopped mid-sentence as a tall, pink cat up ahead caught his eye. She was wearing a yellow skirt and red shirt, which was stained with cream filling. It seemed like she’d been pushed this far back by the invading Cogs, using the Toontown Schoolhouse as cover while she threw Cream Pies at them all. Next to her was a brown monkey, who had been cornered with her. He was frantically throwing pies everywhere, attempting to push back the Cogs. The tall pink cat actually threw two a time, one on each hand as the Cogs tried to surround both of them, but she didn’t let them get close enough. She was quick and assertive in her actions, and Tyler’s eyes followed her movements longingly. His pupils turned into red hearts—literally—and his heart started beating quicker. He felt butterflies in his stomach. Oh, my goodness, she is CUTE, he thought. At Gustavo’s cry, the tall pink cat’s head turned toward the Silly Street tunnel. She looked at the brown monkey, who had successfully dwindled down the cogs on his side, then threw four pies in quick succession at her attackers. A small gap between the cogs opened for a brief moment. The tall pink cat dived in-between the cogs, landed gracefully in a crouched position, and made a sprint for the Silly Street tunnel.

“I’ll be right back!” Tyler heard her shout as she disappeared into the tunnel. The cogs grumbled in surprise, turning around quickly but the tall pink cat was too fast for them and was long gone. The brown monkey had been looking away, and didn’t seem to notice she was gone for a few seconds, then his eyes darted around searching for her when he realized she had left.

“As I was saying….,” Tyler said a small smirk forming on his lips, a devious glint in his eyes, “I’d be extremely happy to help my poor, defenseless friend. Let us do just that!” The chubby green dog’s eyes narrowed at him suspiciously. “Really?”

“Oh yes, for sure, totally,” Tyler grinned, running towards the tunnel leading into Silly Street. Not letting a cutie like that leave before I get to get talk to her!